D’Artagnan I Am

I have recently been lifted by three amazing authors and what I believe are becoming three amazing friends. They are much older and wiser than me, and they deal with me! I have made some stupid remarks and mistakes for that matter, but they have still stand by me. Now I am writing bigger and better than ever. I hope to have a full manuscript with three more book proposals in the spring. I am not quite sure where all four books will sign, but I am confident they will be published. My agent will decide where they go from there. They are all good ideas, but someone told me to focus on the writing and only the writing. If the books are not with only one publisher, then I will sign the first two and save two for later use. I am only one person after all.

If you remember in the movie, D’Artagnan was the stupid, foolish one, but he saved the king in the end large in part because of his stupid and foolish behavior. His passion fueled his unique rebellious of getting into trouble but also being delivered from trouble. I am young, foolish, and stupid in some of the things, but at the same time I am bold enough to do them. I am bold enough to live big. I am bold to try and live the dream. What is funny about all of this is I am.

My first book of 23 poems and 23 photographs will be published in March. I already have a signing set up at the Gnu’s Room April 23 with a root beer keg party to follow that night with more signings. I am excited about this! I did not sign with a major publisher, but I am still getting my name out there. I took the best of both worlds, self-publishing and traditional publishing, and decided to do both. Now if that is stupid and foolish I would like to know who thinks so.

So consider me D’Artagnan. I am constantly learning, but I am also constantly growing along the way. Maybe in the end I will be that hero that helps others pursue dreams because three musketeers are helping me to pursue my own. God had a sense of humor in that way. But I guess it is safe to say in the Christian church, all for one and one for all!

Bible Study Fart....Laugh Your Head Off!

There is a guy at Church of the Highlands who has taken me under his wing, and I went to his Bible study this morning for the first time. I had a little gas apparently from eating too many late night snacks again. I farted in the middle of the Bible study. It was one of the silent but deadly types. I was sitting next to my new mentor and praying that he did not small it, but he must have. I did all I could not to smile and bust out laughing. One of my sister's boyfriends in high school use to fart on her wrestling around. I use to laugh my head off at his idiotic ways in the past too. It was so funny. I do not know what makes humans laugh at farts, but in the past, present, and future I will always smile and laugh if someone farts. And yes, I am the only twenty-eight year old who has two farting apps on my phone. I set it off at Christmas dinner last year....hilarious! Check out these babies....so funny!

The Truth of a Moment

The Truth of a Moment

So sometimes in regards to myself,

I do not know how to express my feelings

To the person I wish to be with.

You become mesmerized by the thought

Of being with someone,

But then you don’t know what to do and say

To be with that person.

To simply tell her that you want her

Is a statement that society looks down upon.

You may pray for her every second

She comes to mind

Only to realize it is in her thoughts and presence

That with you she becomes blind.

To keep a secret quiet

May cause more harm than would cause good.

When inside it has been hidden truth exposed

Is perhaps the true meaning of affection

For another person who could be more

Than you ever expected.

You may lose that which you desire,

But you then live with the choice

Of truth that you stood to take.

In the reality of a moment

You decided to take a risk with honest feelings

Asking for an honest reaction.

The moment can go one way or it can go another,

But sometimes the risk is well worth the reward

That could potentially be attained

If something is meant to be,

It will be without any force able to stop it.

What one considers best is not always best

For the life of a certain individual,

But it is the risk to test what might be best

That makes the journey worth living.

When you risk all that you have to give,

You realize that pain may be inevitable,

But if you are willing to risk the hurt for her,

Then in the eye blink of a moment,

Your know your feelings were true in purpose

And intention to be with her.

Your judgment is not cloudy.

In fact, it has never been more exact

When you realize she is worth

The pain it took in the risks

It took to be with her.

JLC iii, 3/24/07

PLEASE BELIEVE!

I actually spoke with Andrew Mannheimer tonight, aka YT (Young and Talented) in the Hip Hop industry. I will never forget one of our conversations when I told Andrew I wanted to publish books similar to Donald Miller’s writing, but I was not sure if I could do it. Andrew told me, “He’s just a man. You are just a man. You’re really are one in the same. You can do it!” YT had a good point here. Donald Miller and every other author before him are only men. God uses average people to do incredible things. Moses might be the classic example of this. How many times did he ask the burning bush if God had the right guy? Me….huh…..are you sure? I can just see why God may have been a little perturbed at such skepticism, but eventually Moses became the chosen one who led God’s people out of Egypt pushing through the Red Sea. He was an average man who did incredible things because the Spirit of the Lord led him to do great things.

Greatness is defined by the measure of God’s Holy Spirit within you. This is a concept that nonbelievers will not understand because they look at the world from a unicellular, earthly perspective. They have trouble seeing what visionaries see because they lack the faith to see that the impossible is really not all that impossible. Every dream can be achieved. You just have to create a plan of action, and stick to the plan! Stay the course! Do not be affected by the criticism of others! What I have found is that people who criticize are often the people who are jealous of what you do because you succeed. You have a silent confidence that they have never had. Some individuals are jealous of other people’s success because usually these types of critics are miserable with their own lives. So when they see someone passionately pursuing happiness and becoming successful at doing whatever they love so much, they typically resent the pursuit of the other person. I guarantee that every leader has been criticized, cut down, and discouraged by other people, even within their own family. Some of my family members literally think I am crazy, but what’s funny about my craziness is that when I achieve a goal they told me not to pursue they jump on the bandwagon because they want to be a part of your success. Your cynics then sometimes become your largest supporters. I think that is funny how that works. Your cynics receive hope that maybe dreams are possible because they did not believe until they saw and believed in you with what they originally doubted. You silently pursued something they thought was impossible. People are inspired by your actions, not by your how much you talk. This observation is extremely evident with one of my family members. He has never learned to control his mouth. He always hurts people’s feelings, and he thinks he knows everything about everything when in fact many times he doesn’t. Unfortunately from his example and others like him, I have realized what I do not want to be like with my own family. When someone teaches you what you do not want to be that may not be the best legacy to leave when you die. At least I do not want people to think that about me when I die.

I do not want to be a know-it-all with a mouth that never stops running. First of all, other people like to talk, and sometimes they would like for you to listen. I want people to be inspired by what I do, not by what I say. Arguing never helps any situation. It seems like some of my family enjoys arguing just for the sake of a good ole’ boy Democrat and Republican rendition of an ineffective political agenda. Tony Dungy would argue that we must do what we do without questioning ourselves cognitively. Silently we must walk forward with strength where the criticism simply falls to the ground like stones hitting a steel wall. If your path is geared a 100% towards the Lord, you will soon learn that you really do not care what other people think because you only care what He thinks.

Even in my own family, all my life I have been told I would not surmount to the level of a national ministry leader. I hate to disappoint my most supportive critics, but I am well on my way to helping several hundreds and possibly thousands of people. I do not say this to brag but rather to show that anger, frustration, and hurt feelings if channeled in the right direction can be used to do incredible things. When I remember my favorite relative’s comment “you can’t have it all” from his wonderful weekend visit, I love it! I relish those words because he will see that he was wrong at the finishing line. I do not have to tell him he’s wrong. My actions will silence the haters because eventually they will ask, “How did he do that?” The answer is rather simple: “God.”

I have thoroughly enjoyed YT’s outlook on life. He believes in the infinite, and he really seems to have this one audience mentality of rapping because the Lord has clearly called him to do it. The Lord has called me to do some writing, to take some photos, and to do some event planning. My projects and my ideas are large, but more and more people are seeing that God is honoring my path to serve him. Everyone is attached to a dollar bill, but what I am realizing is that the more you give to God the more his blessings fall upon you.

So my request for the haters is simple: Please believe….not because I don’t believe but because you don’t!

You Get One Chance….Don’t Waste It!

Now I have been given a gift….the gift of life….the gift to live and serve others in distinguishable acts of kindness. When you die, I want you to picture a Christ-centered homecoming of sorts. You finish the race. As you awake into the eternal bliss of angelic presences and God inspired light, a heavenly voice welcomes you into a realm of newfound joy. The joy tingles your heart with comfort unlike any felt before because Christ wraps his arms around you to welcome you home after a long traveled journey on another world known as earth. You see we truly are heavenly creatures visiting another world where we are meant to travel through on passage to the next. When I pass, the words I hope to hear whispered are that “I am of proud of you.” Those are naturally the words that every son hopes to hear from a father.

While I know confidently that I am saved by the redeeming blood of Jesus Christ, I do not want to waste my life in a mediocre existence of survival mode. I want to live! I want to achieve! I want to experience! I want to love! I want to make a difference serving other people!

Find your reason for living and pursue with every drop of earthly water and blood within your being to seize what is yours. Take what is yours in the calling of your dreams and fulfill them with Spirit-filled power. As believers, we have one weapon that is unstoppable. We have Christ within us to overcome evil and triumph in achievement that make observers wonder, “How did he do that?” The answer is rather simple. I believed that God would fulfill the calling of my life and with faith the Spirit blessed that internal belief.

I will publish. I will fulfill my call to inspire those who society labels as disabled. You will find if you embark on my journey through my first book that what disables me enables me to live passionately for God and nothing else. I was given a gift to write, to speak, to network, and creatively infuse all my talents into one so that I may serve a Higher Power. I intend to make the most of it. I have one opportunity….one chance….and one life to demonstrate that what constitutes as my disability serves to ignite a passion unlike any experienced ever before. To live is Christ, and to die is gain. I will live knowing that my limitation has become my greatest asset and my greatest strength. I cannot be stopped. I will not be stopped. There is only room for success because only Good Things can be found in the God I love, worship, and praise in Whom I truly call my Heavenly Father. So go. Live. Dream. Love. And believe that God created you for great things!

Tinsley, Are You Kidding Me?

Okay I went to check out a local dive in Chattanooga, Tennessee known as the Tremont Tavern. I had never been there, but it was a cool joint to hang out while visiting some old friends, Jason Coffey and Joseph Goetz. Growing up in Chattanooga, when I go out to grab a few brews with Jason Coffey, we typically always run into someone we know even if not originally meeting in the group at the designated location of the night. Chattanooga is one of those places that generally plays the part of a large city with a very low key town feel. Everybody knows everybody.

We were sitting at a table pushed against the wall where typically a party of four would conglomerate coming together, but there were five total guys. So we pulled up an extra chair. I happened to be sitting at the fifth chair at the end of the table, and there was a high top table right next to our table where two or three could comfortably sit.

Two girls arrived to sit right next to us at the high top table, and one of the girls just looked familiar to me. It was not one of those cheesy moments where a guy says, “Hey, you look familiar….do I know you?” in the form of a pickup line. The girl was a smoker anyway, and I typically do not take interest in smokers considering I do not enjoy smelling like a bonfire in addition to smoke-stained breath that tastes like a bad batch of untasty barbeque flavor. So being as shy as my personality lends itself, I introduced myself and asked if this girl may have known myself, Jason, or Joseph. I explained briefly life connections all of us had with high schools, universities, churches, and other miscellaneous organizations in east Tennessee. You might at this point guess what her reaction was. She thought I was hitting on her to ask for her phone number.

I did not want to bluntly hurt her feelings saying, “I do not date smokers or girls who simply flatter themselves before a guy can even flatter them with buying a drink or a mild kind compliment.” Before the conversation even started, this girl thought I was hitting on her. That immediately clued me into where the direction of the conversation was going, her favorite subject encompassing a ME-complex. Her name was Tinsley, and while she was somewhat attractive, she was no Megan Fox. What was even worse was another guy joined in on the conversation while I was talking to her. He said the following: “Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? I don’t either. I just wanted to break the ice so I could introduce myself.” She started giving me flack about hitting on girls in bars without even mentioning or noticing the new acquaintance beside me. In other words, she did not give him a hard time of any sorts.

I think my reaction threw her off a little bit. I simple sat down and did not say a word. I am not a person who indulges in one’s own individual prideful thoughts of self. She expected me to continue the conversation perhaps with something like, “That is not what I meant and blah, blah, blah, …” instead of sitting down and not even trying.

I am a nice guy, but I am not a nice guy who apologizes for no reason and who indulges in the cares of other people where nice behaviors become a run-over spectacle. What was apparently noticeable is Tinsley was obviously uncomfortable with my sit-down reaction. She said, “It was a pleasure to meet you.” I honestly did not feel the same because I was only making polite conversation. I was not hitting on the girl. I have more class than the polar bear line, and I treat girls respectfully as I myself would want to be treated. If you assume anything, your assumption can sometimes come back to bite you in the butt so to speak.

Perhaps the moral of this story is that if someone obviously thinks only him or herself from the very beginning of any conversation, that is a conversation that you do not even need to be indulging in, and what I have found is that this type of internal focus is not developed from a true confidence of self-esteem but rather an uncertain view of self. An inflated appearance of esteem infers an inflated sense of insecurity. Sometimes people are just politely making conversation. Southerners tend to do that. When someone speaks generally nice to you, speak generally nice back to the person and do not automatically assume the person is speaking to you with ulterior motives even if the environment you inhabit lends to such judgments. And in my case, if you are a smoker, a nonsmoker is probably not interested in the attractive appeal of a moment’s suggested intentions. If Tinsley had taken a moment to not think about herself, she might have noticed that, and the guy with the clever polar bear comment would have become a bystander in the conversation, not the nice guy who really wanted nothing out of the situation to start off with.