Discover your second wind! What others think no longer matters.

WARNING: This picture is a joke. I have no idea whether this stuff even works....but for the sake of sanity, realistically, probably not.

I started writing tonight, really writing. That is an extremely good thing. It have been awhile since I was plagued with true and lame writer’s block.

I read a quote recently in a bathroom (like that makes it totally legitimate right?) that said something like: “Most give up on their first breath before they realize they have a second.” I think that might be true for many of us on our dreams. We put down those dreams. We give up. We make excuses. We pay bills. We exist. We survive.

Today I gave up in a spiritual still giving my best. I almost took a nonchalant attitude, like I did not care about the results. Instead of living tight within my own skin, I relaxed, just kind of going along with the day instead of stressing trying to make the day go in a certain direction. We can control the direction of the car, but God will ultimately control the weather.

In order to continue my big book (the memoir about living with bipolar disorder), I needed to have closure. I made two decisions recently that brought closure on certain things. I will perhaps make a third soon as well, walking away from something that has not fulfilled me for quite some time now. Life is too short to put up with it.

As someone who thrives on productivity, I often stress deadlines to have so much of something done by a certain date. A good book sometimes takes several years, but if it reaches over 50,000 individuals, then we are cooking with grease. Time is not a stressor unless you make it one.

I just got done reading an article on a blog on the difference between nice guys and jerks – it is obvious jerks tend to not care what others think of them. I am not suggesting you become a jerk with women, but if the only person you seek to please is God in an audience of One, then the rest should take care of itself. I think seeking the counsel of others is extremely wise, but I also think sometimes you must make your own decisions and face whatever lies in front of you, sometimes alone with God without worrying what others think. I have a friend that always reminds me, “If you only fear God, what else is there to fear?” ……makes sense I think!

I am a writer who wants to be a national speaker and author for Christ and ministry purposes. I am a photographer studying intensely in night classes. I am a faithful follower and believer. I am constantly networking and applying for new opportunities so I can pursue a day job that not only pays the bills but fulfills the passions within my heart. I am driving the car forward, and it is just a matter of time before God shows me a rainbow.

Stay perseverant until you feel that second wind! You can, and God will pick you up when the time is right!

Trying to stay focused – Have you ever felt this way?

What do feelings say about us? I think that feelings can sometimes be misguided, for instance the way you think you feel about a girl who feels nothing in response to you.

This year has started off on a good note, including the first week with 21 days of prayer. I had some ups and downs where I fell off on some of my goals, like not running yesterday after completing the Snowball 5K Saturday morning. I felt like chilling while focusing on some other tasks I needed to complete in the day’s time, however I completed 6.6 miles today on the elliptical and then walked the dog for an extra mile. So that was really like two days of working out depending on how you look at it I guess.

I try not to be legalistic in my walk with the Lord, but I do many spiritual things out of routine or discipline. I desire for my walk with the Lord to be fresh, exciting, and yearning in ways to just spend time with him, not because I have to, but rather because I want to. While I would like the next two weeks in finality of 21 days of prayer to be disciplined, I really just want a fresh connection and purpose with God, to begin anew doing something from day to day that I am passionate about. I am not necessarily talking about reading The Purpose Driven Life six more times but rather the feeling of being driven by something other than just doing it. Quite frankly I am sick of just doing life just because (I think we all feel this way sometimes), and that twist in my stomach affects my pursuit of God in quite frankly floating day to day as if not much matters. When you try to make it matter, it is almost like it matters less because the more you try the more you realize you are in a slump of some sort where feelings just don’t fly.

I think the best way to describe it is that I have often “just not felt like it” – all I do is go to work each day (that I am not honestly very fulfilled with), come home, eat, work out, maybe watch some television, read, write, or whatever and then do it all over the next day. The routine of the routine gets very old. Today I just kind of sat quietly with my hands in the air just wondering, “What’s next? And when?” …... staying true to my course but also pleading for God to step in.

I ran across these verses (Isaiah 40:29-31) on the shirt I acquired by completing the 5K Snowball Run. I think this might be a good place to stop until my entry tomorrow. If you feel as I do, perhaps you will find comfort in these words.

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

A Toast for Jason Coffey, a true man of faith and best friend:

To my friend Jason Coffee on the best day of his life (besides the day I was born of course):

I deeply regret that I will not be in the presence with Jason tomorrow, with my only requested responsibility was not to lose the cubic zirconium ring he bought.....kidding here.

I on a twenty-one day quest to seek God and truly become the man he intends for me to be in 2012. With that commitment, I have in some ways limited travel, luxuries, treats, and extras that I would otherwise indulge in.

That being the case, I wanted to express a toast:

Jason Coffey could quite be the most honorable man I have ever met. He stands by a friend even when I am wrong or not even in my right psychological mind. His loyalty as a person does not waver even when things get hard.

If I remember correctly, I got sick from savory indulgences my freshman year at Carson Newman (I once heard they would kick you out of school for that – oh well.), my twenty-first, and my twenty-fourth birthdays. Even though irresponsible with my great decision those nights, Jason took care of me, made sure I got home, and perhaps most importantly, wanted me to have a good time....you see, that might sum up Jason. He sacrifices his wishes for the sake of others, often giving up his own desires to serve those he gives those things up for. I would say he may have even have exhausted himself physically on numerous occasions to do so, but Jason was never exhausted spiritually. His fire and hunger for Christ goes unmatched to most that I know.

I am a member of Church of the Highlands (part of the Association of Related Churches) in Birmingham, Alabama and have seen God work in brilliant ways in how this church brings salvation to thousands. I have often dreamed of such a presence in Chattanooga, Tennessee that grows at an exponential rate, saving souls, adopting orphans, empowering those with disabilities, and lifting the southeast corner of Tennessee in service for Christ unlike any place of worship ever has.

I know that Jason would the first person I would approach about such a mighty endeavor because He is THAT kind of man that God will use in extraordinary ways. Regardless of where the future takes us, I am grateful and honored to call Jason my friend and brother in Christ.

He touches the lives of every hand he shakes, and any girl would be blessed to have him. So take care of my boy!

I wish I could be in Chattanooga tomorrow and send you my best.

I am in constant prayer for you. I love you more than you may know. And as long as I am alive I will be here to serve you in any way that you may ask because after all Jason did so for me for so many years.

I heard Virginia is for lovers. I might move there so I can meet a girl like Catherine. Then I can officially move out of my parent's basement.

God Bless.

James L. Cartee III

Days 5 and 6 - No Super Sermon Here.

Yesterday was kind of a slow day for me waiting for a long weekend. It becomes lethargic and even boring at times when you are constantly in something you are not passionate about doing while pursuing your passions in hope that the passions will one day pay your bills. Your hope lies in obedience to where you are that God will hear your prayers, that once you have stood the test you will be somewhere you like or even perhaps with someone you care deeply about. That is the road post I currently face....taking one step at a time hoping I will get to an arrived destination that brings promise and fulfillment on an eternal mission in a ministry of some kind.

If I have not had a perfect day in this twenty-one day challenge, I have not beaten myself up - I truly think that is a source of the enemy. I have just tried to stay the course to do better tomorrow, focusing on becoming a master of the little things so the big things take care of themselves.

I have my first 5K EARLY tomorrow morning. All of today's goals were attained even in the midst of super chills in the low 30's with a walk in preparation, reflection, and prayer for tomorrow's big day.

I also had an amazing phone call with a good friend who could be possibly writing the foreword to my big book and hopefully big break. That was an encouraging step in the right direction.

Perhaps My Last Letter and Gesture To My Friend

You never knew that I was planning on running a marathon in February 2011 - I was training and planned discussing the matter with you during my supposed visit in early December 2010 - perhaps you would have enjoyed having someone rise to the challenge with you. It would be a little exaggerated to say I trained for a girl but better said that I wanted to enjoy the experience with a good friend together. I even registered for the race, but when things bottomed out between us, I let it go. Like this instance, there is ALOT of things you do not know about me. There are many things I wanted to say but never had the chance. There is an eternal reason why our friendship never made it. I believe that friendship is worth the good fight through gesture, kindness, and perhaps a turn of the cheek. No thank you's for the nice thoughts, and good byes, and no explanations - just deafening silence... that is okay if you are okay with such a response. I pray for you almost every day. While we may never talk again, I am at peace with that, however I did not you to forget your birthday. More importantly, I wanted you to know that I had not forgotten. I took the picture on this card in Italy. My included art project seemed appropriate for Floridian beaches. Perhaps for the last time, Happy Birthday! -James L. Cartee III

Not Separate But Rather Together – Days 3 and 4

So yesterday was not my most successful triumph in terms of my 21 day goals. I needed some time to have fun – I exercised bowling seven games alone (kind of took a sabbatical to spend a few hours by myself) and thoroughly enjoyed the leisurely activity of reflection and the sound of pins falling. Before my fast to exercise twenty-one straight days, I certainly would have exercised much less with no movement on the front side whatsoever….just settling for the desk duties of a cubicle each day. So bowling as a legitimate sport was legitimate exercise in my mind. I did however forget about the blog entry or my daily discipline to write. So I decided to combine two blog entries into one here. I have stayed on track and committed to The Big 3 in terms of my spiritual disciplines. I have a logical manner in which I memorize Scripture through note cards day by day working through different verses for each day of the week. Slowly the scriptures start adding up as you continue to add different passages of memory.

While I was at my desk reading through another scripted conversation with yet another student, I was thinking about my New Year Happiness Project goals and how I was going to accomplish all such tasks and things by myself, and then the titled subject entered my mind, “Not separate but together.” How many times do you imagine trying to achieve goals by yourself without God like I can actually publish a book with a major contract or get a promotion without God in the picture? That almost sounds ridiculous just writing such a thought knowing the love I have in my heart for Jesus Christ. As believers, we do not exist alone as individuals. We exist together as Christ enters us when we confess to believe in His Name accepting in the faith that we stand in. Christ within us gives us the ability to become great! Everyone at some point in their life needs the assistance of someone to do something. Even if you lead a team, you depend on the team to follow your instructions as you lean into members to commit to whatever transpires. As Christians, we commit to each other to assist in whatever ways possible, but it is Christ in us that compels, gives strength, motivates, inspires, and ultimately leads us to succeed, to never back down, and to finish the race strong.

We measure success and triumphs on individual measures, but while God tests me in the immediate moment within the present, He reminds me that to move on it is not by my own measure and earthly efforts but rather us together through His infinite blessings and His Grace. In the end, we all end up in the same place anyway, together with Christ – again to die is gain! For if you believe (another friendly reminder here), you might find that together nothing is impossible with Christ. Dare to believe, and dare to achieve together in relationship.

Are We Wasting Time? – Day Two

I heard an incredible story through a friend’s testimony today when she asked for certain materialistic wants in faith through a simple prayer while shopping on the Internet, and within twenty-four hours God delivered ALL her desires (like enough to furnish an entire new house). Now the last thing I hope for is more stuff, but there are ambitions I hope God notices.

When you or I ask how would that happen to her and not yourself or myself, I think blind faith may have something to with it. We become jealous by those whose God’s provisions seem to divinely bless over our own. Passionately with conviction, are you wasting your time with meddling matters? My worst fear coming out of college was working a dead beat job to pay bills – while I am grateful for money in my pocket, I want to serve in a capacity where my passions are not lingering and my interests are divinely appointed to follow in suit with eternity.

Twenty-one days of prayer is not just about a proclamation for me to say, “I ran two 5 K’S, one 10 K, and twenty-one days straight in preparation for a half - marathon.” I am in some ways tired of wasting time watching television or quite frankly just doing things that have no significance. I realize God has us appointed to individuals in our place wherever we are settled, but it becomes discouraging when applying, inquiring for opportunity after opportunity only to be turned away without almost no great justification from a potential decision maker on whether you can join up or not. Many do not even bother to send you their sincere wishes in a letter format on your search to better yourself. In addition to more positions than I can really count, I have applied to churches in my own circle of faith and nonprofits who advocate for the fatherless. I want to serve God in an occupation where I do not wake up each day wondering, “Does this matter?” I do not believe that such a wish is a ridiculous thought or too much to ask God for. I often sit in prayer asking God, “What are You doing? What am I supposed to be doing?” I am looking for a sign here….something simple….not thousands of dollars of stuff to furnish a house or new apartment but somewhere doing something where I can serve God and be fulfilled doing so, using my outgoing personality traits to build relationships and somehow harness my creative genes. That is my prayer so that day in and day out I do not feel like I am wasting my/your time, my spiritual potential, and my spiritual gifts.

Again I am glad to be paid but sincerely feel that I have maxed out my potential to answer telephones, send emails, and input data entry. I surpass expectations daily with where I am in life, but the question that consumes my thoughts and cognitive processes is whether I am having an eternal difference in those lives I am supposedly changing every day. I am a great salesman, but the frank problem is that I am not selling something I even believe in. I would much rather be selling out to Jesus, saving people’s souls, and using my gifts with people to convey how much adoption is needed to save children around the world.

Do you personally feel that your life is wasting away doing something that has no significance besides a pay check? If so, ask God to open a new door, maybe He will. I know that I am begging that He does soon in my own life.

As for the goals of Day Two, Check!