Love stinks sometimes...

Maybe some of the guys out there will feel me on this one. Do you ever wonder why guys chase girls? Of the girls you have actually chased, how many have you actually caught? Sometimes I wonder for those of us who don’t want to be single for the rest of our lives, what is the point when a girl (not all girls obviously) seems to always be looking for better, faster, richer, or whatever the case may be? Being a good guy or more specifically being a Christian who avidly seeks God does not seem to be enough for some girls in our society anymore. You have to be the next best thing in Pop Culture with a record album, a cool hairdo, and a contract for a swimsuit calendar. I realize this may be a stereotypical, pessimistic way of looking at love, but in some regards, is it not true? The same can be said for males. How many males are looking for a slim Blonde (natural or not) with blue eyes? It might even explain why half the girls in the United States insist on being blonde…guys look for it.

I get sick of playing the mind games, and when you decide to be honest, what are the chances your honesty is only going to get shot down? While I believe it is hard to wait on a guy in the traditional sense (if that is your approach to dating for females), think about how difficult it is for a guy to put himself out there. It hurts when the girl says, “No.” Perhaps that is why girls are no longer asked out as much. When rejection becomes a main factor, why ask in the first place? If I had the choice, I would rather wait to be asked out than having to be the one that asks girls out, but that role in the dating world of America is not going to change any time soon. In other words, waiting is the easy part; asking, when often times only leads to rejection, is the hard part. Guys can’t exactly just sit still filtering through choices. My parents explained to me back in the day dating was just fun. It didn’t necessarily mean you were going to be a relationship with the person or get married. It was just fun to go out, watch a movie, eat a meal, and if you did like the girl, maybe kiss her, “Good Night.” Please realize I do not take the physical aspect of a relationship lightly. I just get tired when asking for a date always has to be so serious. If a girl says, “Yes,” who knows? She might be surprised. She might have fun. When she wasn’t looking, she might even find the man she was looking for when originally the thought to answering such a question, “Will you go out with me for dinner some time?” was “No.”

Recently, I dated a girl who is honestly a fascinating individual. She is pretty. She is fun to be around. She is stellar creative. And to the best of my knowledge, she appeared to have a relationship with God. She told me that she “loved me,” “adored me,” and “that I was the best boyfriend she ever had.” Well, that girl moved away from where I currently live and decided things were a little rough long distance. All of a sudden those feelings or facts as mentioned before didn’t matter so much. And if “I was the best boyfriend yet,” she obviously didn’t mind the risk of losing that. At least, when I asked her to speak up on several occasions, her silence was deafening. I thought for sure she would say, “Let’s give this a go.” But when did treating people like disposable income become right? When was losing the “best you ever had” searching for the next best thing okay? Perhaps I can understand why the hopeless romantics, like myself, become so cynical after so much heart ache. The fact that divorce rates go up each year should prove some validity to the ideas that I propose. When marriage gets hard, some people bale, hoping the next marriage brings back fuzzy feelings that once were existent in the previous marriage.

My parents often wonder why I want to leave the country after I finish school. One major reason is because I believe some countries still have people who know how to treat each other like decent human beings. The elderly are not stuck in nursing homes for the convenience of a career. In fact, the elderly may be the most revered people in the family. What an elderly person says goes, and there is no arguing about it. Poor people are not spit on as they ask for money. Men and women are not like cattle in a shopping market; you discard everything until you find the best piece. Even though this metaphor is often used for women, I think it can still be used for men as well. People are not price tags that you shop through. People have feelings. People have stories. People have hearts. And sometimes I think people are so caught up in chasing materialistic wonderlands they forget what is like to be human once again. When you grow up on top, perhaps you expect that you have right to stay there, looking down upon people who are not so fortunate to be in the “cream of the crop.”

I backpacked through Europe last spring for six weeks. It was an incredible experience! I met an amazing girl from the Czech Republic. I spent about seven to eight days hanging out with this girl. Honestly, she struggled with her English, but Lord knows I could not and still cannot correctly pronounce one word in Czech. Even though she was conscientious of her English skills, that was the least of my worries. When I spent time with her or even covered the expenses of a few meals, it meant something to her. It was not just a routine thing. A nice guy was respected. A nice guy was a keeper. A nice guy was just treated like a decent human being. And when I was with her (a woman like that), this nice guy felt like Superman. If I could find a girl like that in the United States, then perhaps the tone of this BLOG entry would be more positive, but I am not sure that is going to happen any time soon in the near future. Perhaps God will surprise me when I least expect it; I will meet a sweet girl here in the states, or better yet, a girl from the Czech Republic might move to Alabama.

An evening of eventful suprises

Recently, I have been caught up in my own feelings about different things. I try to seek happiness where joy is temporary, whether in the moment just for fun or chasing after some girl. I just got out of a relationship where a girl destroyed me with continual criticism, and as I pursue another, she does not mind shrugging me off just to do other things. I guess you have time with what you make time for. As far back as I can remember, the only thing relationships with girls have done for me is cause hurt. The feeling might be mutual with both sexes. Girls can feel the same way about guys. As you are trying to have fun, whether going to a basketball game in college or going to grab a few drinks with friends, that stuff only lasts for the moments in which they occur….temporary with no lasting effect on happiness. I think that is where God tries to teach us that the only way to true joy is through Him, although it may take me a lifetime to really understand the principles of such an existence.

I have been reading a book entitled The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. Shane writes about the lifestyle that would be considered “radical” to what Pop Culture Christianity has turned into. Of course, this depends on how you would individually define radicalism yourself. Shane focuses much of the content of his book on the livelihoods, the conditions, and those who are often forgotten in the world of homelessness. Among the homeless (sometimes even living in such environments), he strives to make an impact. After reading stories of Shane’s passion to help the homeless (even sometimes traveling across the world), I myself wanted to do something, but I did not want to wait until tomorrow. I wanted to do something in the hours of Friday night. I had plans to go to a movie with my friends Bryan and Cody. I called both of them to ask what they thought about going into downtown Birmingham just to talk with some homeless individuals and possibly give them some blankets and/or food. Although perhaps skeptical at first, they came along anyway just to see what would happen.

I had bought enough groceries to make about five sack lunches in case any homeless people just happen to be hungry. I also got a few blankets in case the night happened to grow cold.

I really did not know what to expect. Surprisingly, we did not find as many homeless people as I thought we would encounter. By the end of the night, we had met maybe seven to ten people after driving and/or walking around the entire city for about three hours, but the people we did meet made a significant impact on me that I hope does not fade any time soon. The reality of my life doesn’t really allow any room for complaint because I just have things that good. I am blessed beyond belief. I do not want to ignore Jesus’ warnings about the rich because in the eyes of the world, that is what I might be considered.

Cody was jamming to Christian praise music on most of the car ride down in into the city. On one hand, I could not help but smile and laugh, but on the other hand, I also admire his willingness to worship and/or praise God in front of any human being watched. He truly does not care what others think about his relationship with God, and that is a worthwhile quality to have.

Our first stop was at Lynn Park. We parked the car and walked through the park and the surrounding blocks. Lynn Park is approximately one city block in length and width. It has a large fountain in the center of it. For Christmas, the city decorates the park with lights and a large Christmas tree that stands about thirty feet tall. If you are looking from the Regions Tower side of the park, you will see two adjacent rows of white pillars along the sidewalk up to the point of the fountain. These poles had Christmas lights wrapped around them as if they were large candy canes. Naturally, being a park, there are benches everywhere. On the right side of the sidewalk, we met our first homeless person. His name was Henry, and he was from Birmingham. He was eager to have something to eat and a blanket for the night; so we gave him one of the blankets and sack lunches (or in this case dinners) we had brought. We had only brought two blankets and five sack lunches. You might even say we were experimenting in estimation of what was needed to possibly be brought with us for a next time. Henry asked if we had any extra clothes in addition to what we were wearing, but we didn’t. Surprisingly, it was rather hot that night. Welcome to Alabama in December. So we did not have any jackets or other things to give. Henry was wearing a weathered army uniform. I asked if he had previously served in the army, and he admitted that he had not but that his father and uncle had. We asked if we could pray for Henry, and he did not seem to mind the gesture. You could tell we as a group were somewhat nervous at first. It was almost like we did not know how to react or what to say. Obviously, we had not made hanging out with the homeless a regular, weekly activity. Or at least, we were not accustomed to it. As the night progressed, our approach to making first contact or praying for the homeless simmered down if any intimidation did in fact exist. It is like talking to a beautiful girl, especially if you like her. You are kind of shaky because the intoxication of her presence and beauty may make you feel as if you on another planet. In both the case of the homeless and picking up a beautiful girl, we forget that these people are just people. If you start talking to them, you come to find they are no different than anyone else, including yourself. We are God’s Flesh. Whether homeless or not, whether physically beautiful or not, we are still just people. We are God’s dusted creation.

As we walked further into the park, we met two more homeless men named Jeremiah and William. Both men did not talk very much. Both men seemed to be weary because of literally “fighting the elements.” They mentioned that the hardest part of a homeless lifestyle were the conditions of being outside. It appeared to be an obvious battle against all aspects of the external world, including inaccurate judgments of society, conditions of weather, economic developments, the battle and temptations of drugs and alcohol, lack of essential prescription medicine, possible disease, possible mental illness, and every known struggle that may exist out of the formidable structure of a well-to-do home. Jeremiah and William did not directly refer to the worries of a homeless lifestyle, but observationally one could observe and perhaps even begin to imagine the conditions of such. We gave each man a sack lunch and prayed for each of them in a group circle before we departed. I usually led the prayer for each time we encountered a homeless person or group of people. I found myself having a hard time with what to say because I did not want to offend anyone. In American society, are we afraid to offend people? Have we come to a point where we can no longer be so honest to each other that we are afraid to hurt one another? After talking to a friend today, I think I am going to concentrate less on what I shouldn’t say and more on what I should.

We walked around several more city blocks until we decided to head back to the car. We drove around a little more and parked once again about a mile from where we had previously been. There were some railroad tracks on a bridge that went over several blocks of city streets in different portions or at different places. There were sidewalks on each side of the street underneath these bridge segments. As we were walking under the bridge, we met another homeless man with a bicycle named Ron. Ron appeared to have several of his belongings hanging from grocery sacks, and he seemed a little bit on edge. He continually talked about how city bureaucrats had purposely put up several dead end signs to insinuate the message in a reminder of deaths that had occurred in the city. He told us that we needed to be very careful, especially after some Birmingham city police had been shot and killed three years ago in Ensley. He also mentioned the food schedule of every shelter, ministry, and philanthropist group that gave out meals during the week for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This made me realize how every meal was truly a priority to get, to be first in line so you could actually get something to eat. Those who were late may not have gotten any food. It made me thankful that I have a 24 hour snack bar in the comfort of my own refrigerator…a blessing I too often take for granted. Honestly, he was a little scary as he kept pointing his finger at us similar to a teacher reprimanding a small child. We gave him a sack lunch. We asked if we could pray for him, and he said that he didn’t need that. We quickly departed from his presence, not really knowing what to think of him, and ironically as we said our “Goodbyes,” he said, “God Bless You!” He did not want us to pray for him; yet he bid us farewell with the Lord’s blessing. I do not say this to mock Ron but rather to point out the unusual actions of his behavior.

My favorite and perhaps even most amusing character was named Roy. He was one of the last homeless people we met with the last group we encountered. Roy was an older man with a scruffy, gray beard in his mid-fifties. He was a stout figure at a height of about 5’ 9’. He was among a group of four homeless people…two other men and a woman. We asked if we could pray for them, and the woman was quick to put her arms around us as we made a circle to pray for the homeless group on that street. She was rather comical in asking us “How we wanted to do this?” Cody, wearing his camouflage shirt (being a natural country boy) said, “we will do this any which way you want.” I cannot really say much since Europeans often comment that I talk like “Forrest Gump.” Anyway, the two other men did not take part in the prayer; they laid down on their cardboard mats to possibly get some rest or shuteye for the night. I had one last sack lunch, and the group split it with what each person wanted individually. One of the men who laid down was quick to take my last blanket. Several of the poor people wanted blankets, and I felt bad for not having more. Like I said before, I honestly did not know what to expect. This was not something I had regularly done before. Roy began to tell us his story. I obviously cannot tell you whether his story was in fact 100% accurately true. All I know is that when he told it he appeared to be sincere. Our society tends to associate the stereotype of homelessness with lying or the inability to tell the truth. The fact is nothing could be more far from the truth. Each person has a story, and each person deserves to tell it.

Roy had been in prison for ten years and on probation for another five years. He claims that in past times he did some wrong things, but he said that what he was charged with were not the bad things that he did. He did not deny breaking the law; he just said that the charges brought against him in this particular case were false. He did not go into the details of his story, which are not necessarily important. What is of significance is the role of God described in his story. Roy said that for several years he had avoided following God, but when he finally made a choice to do so, God answered his prayers. Roy made an appeal to the court system to review his case, and his wish was granted. He was asked to approach the bench of the judge. The judge asked Roy a few questions, including who Roy was accountable to. Roy said that he was not accountable to the judge, to the courtroom, or to himself. He simply pointed his finger to the ceiling inferring that the only person he was accountable to was the God of the Universe and of all Creation. The judge smiled and apparently found favor on Roy. She cleared his record clean so that he could start life again with a new slate. In other words, the charges brought against him were dropped entirely, including the record of his years in prison and possible parole. Roy inferred that the details did not add up in regards to the case. In other words, there were loopholes in the story that just didn’t make sense. The judge told Roy that if she saw him again, he would be sent to prison for the remainder of his life. He promised her that he would “be good.” Now that Roy was on the street free, he was trying to get his life back together.

Roy was not only trying to get his life together; he was also trying to help others. For instance, when I gave him the sack lunch, he was quick to offer the other three homeless individuals their choice of what was in the bag. He also told an amusing story of explaining the Gospel to an unbeliever in the homeless population. He handed her a Bible that was upside down so she was obviously unable to read the text because it was upside down. He asked, “Can you read this?” Her obvious answer was “No.” He turned the Bible the right way forward towards the girl so the text could actually be read. He asked, “Can you read it now?” The lady remarked, “Yes, of course.” Roy said, “That is kind of how Christ works. You turn your life around, and things become a little bit more clear….a little bit easier to read.”

Roy also reminded us that God made everything, including the planet, the Universe, and the rest of God’s Creation. He mentioned that non-Christians were “trespassing.” Bryan, Cody, and I looked at each other confused, thinking this might be some kind of riddle. He asked, “Do I need to break this down for you?” I said, “I think you do.” He said, “If God created all this stuff, he owns it. He made the Earth for Christians to enjoy. The Christians are where they should be in God’s creation, praising and enjoying what God made for us. The non-Christians are not doing these things for God. They don’t belong on God’s property. Therefore, they are trespassing on grounds they should not be on.” I couldn’t help but giggle under my breath, trying to remain serious, but Roy smiled. And we all smiled in return. Although perhaps considered a strange idea, it made sense to me. God made the planet for his creation to enjoy and glorify him through a relationship with Christ. If you don’t recognize God as the Creator, perhaps you are trespassing on His ground because you don’t acknowledge what He has made and therefore what is His anyway. What God creates he owns. That logic makes sense to me. Nevertheless, we were entertained by Roy’s testimony and his clever ideologies with God.

Roy has a mother across town he was trying to move so that he could live with her. He was going to receive the first of his SSI checks in the mail in January. He was making plans to live with his mother in a “safer” part of town. It looks like Roy found the Christmas miracle he had been looking for, and I happen just to be in the right place at the right time to hear it.

I think it is safe to say that at the end of the night when I went to sleep I knew why I should be thankful to sleep in a bed and under a roof in a place called home. I have a home with a family that loves and cares for me, and when I observed those who seemed to be without, I recalled the luxury and blessing it is to have such things.