My own search for joy – Defend the cause of orphans!

Why Love Orphans? from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.

Isaiah 1:17 (New Living Translation)

This past year has been the darkest of my days and perhaps even the darkest of my life. Sometimes we carry hidden burdens that secretly we individually keep to ourselves, or we tell very few people. The enemy carries us through the ditches of depression, and some of us are more skilled at hiding those thoughts and feelings more so than others. In the middle of the tornadoes that almost tore my personal psychology and state apart, I got an email from a new friend who proposed a “marketing internship” with the Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO). I did not realize this was God’s answer for me to crawl out of the bat cave I had dove into with my own feelings of insecurity. Before I left for the conference in Louisville, Kentucky this past weekend, I had a long talk with my father about what “we were going to do” with these continual downturns of repressed frustration and disappointment without the feeling of Christian joy in my heart. As I often say and have said in past times, “I lost my Tinker Bell.” I was going to survive three more days to complete a conference I had done my very best to contribute to in the little ways I did. Sometimes the little things we must overcome day to day seem like colossal Goliath giants. When we are down in the darkest of times, feelings of being wanted and feelings of being needed in the expressions of love with others carries us through to stay the course, to never give up!

A leader in this organization kept emailing me with sincere encouragement and with emails constantly saying, “We’ll make it work.” While I would often tear up as I fell asleep at night as the Devil whispered lies of nothingness into my ears, I would say to my God and Father, “We are going to make this work. We are going to make this work.”

Two newfound friends: one Christian Brother and one Christian Sister never judged my efforts, my penmanship, and my design work. They appreciatively and gratefully said “Thank you” for my simple efforts to survive, hold on, and do what I do.

As I attended breakout session after breakout session at the CAFO Summit, I realized on a small scale maybe what orphans with international backgrounds and barriers feel with my own invisible disability where most people just don’t know what it is like to be “in our shoes.” At certain points in my own life, I have been the rejected, distressed orphan fighting for the right to breathe. The fatherless are often stripped from their own homes to move to a new destination in a country that might as well resemble another planet in space. The process of adoption is not a simple check written for a bill where the stork delivers a freshly born baby on the footsteps of your white picket fence front yard. The transition to adopt from China, Vietnam, Russia, the Ukraine, and to the far reaches of the world is not a normal day routine trip to the grocery store. It is a calling. It is a vision to change lives and carry through with the miracle of life when life may be threatened to the point of extinction.

So in my own metaphorical point to extinction, I was taken into CAFO as an orphaned intern where my service was little but I was birthed again with the hope that lives in the cause for the fatherless. Two people poured into me to believe once again. And so my dark days came to a close with the newfound hope I found in a subculture I may join in the fight for humanity to “defend the cause of the orphans.”

I am exhilarated to see what the future beholds because I have seen the fight for those who truly live for Him in a cause I was completely unaware of but am now passionate to spend more time serving. Churches continue to standstill, but some answer the call. I am now choosing to answer that call through my writing, my photography, and my service to humanity. I am coming out in a newness of Spirit, thanks to two new friends and an Alliance that at least for now has changed and saved my search for hope that truly is everlasting.

For more information concerning CAFO or the yearly Summit conference, please visit the website. The experience of the orphan may change your life as it did mine in what were some of my darkest days where light now shines because I have found fairy dust in the Tinker Bell that now settles once again in the joy of my smile and the chimes within my heart….my sincere thanks to the Alliance and all those involved to bring joy where it seems most bleak!

Signings and Recent Feelings - What to Remember Me By

Recently I have been frustrated with life and just what I perceive to be a lack of progression. I have lacked the patience for a natural progression in God’s time. I have two signings coming up for my first book:

Gnu's Room Signing April 23 11:00 am - 1:30 pm in Auburn, AL

Little Professor Cafe Signing April 30 12:00-2:30 pm in Birmingham, AL

I am really excited about these mini signings which symbolize where things begin. When I publish my memoir cowritten by both my father and Tim Webb I will remember the people who helped get me started, who helped support me in the beginning before I was able to make a name for myself.

Things take time, and I forget that sometimes. I had a friend tell me today that if you are patient in the small things God will deliver on the big things with faithfulness in good due time, but it takes time.

I do not measure my success on how much junk have, although I have an 87’ Pontiac Fiero for sale if you would like to purchase it. I like having a sporty car that barely runs, but I would like to think that running a marathon, backpacking through continents, getting a Masters degree, writing books, and hopefully acquiring a good job would attest to what I have done rather than a list of possessions I have accumulated.

I feel that I have gotten caught in the mundane of everyday routine life, something I vowed to try and never do. It is like walking through a desert without water sometimes.

For me, I hope that my signings remind me of what accomplishments and this Easter holiday are truly all about, to bring glory to His Name and His Name alone. I get caught up in ME when I should be caught up in HIM. I hope you are able to come out to one of the signings to support me as I push through to attain a dream greater than myself.

35 years old – Goals and two signings so far…

As I get older, more people seem to give me advice about how to live, sometimes I ask for it, sometimes I don’t. I rewrote this blog entry because the first entry was not as graceful as I would like it to have been. Sometimes people offer advice only because they care for you. Whether annoying or not, you may not want to hear it, but it may also be for the best.

I am currently working two jobs, one full time and one part time, one I am not so crazy about and the other I am very much crazy about in terms of just loving what I do. Sometimes you have to give something a chance before you decide whether you like it or you don’t. And even if you don’t, God calls us to be faithful in our steps towards Him.

I have had some close individuals inform me that I need to “narrow my focus.” I get agitated by what I sometimes consider narrow, half glass full perspectives. I do not want to narrow my focus. I want to live in a wide angle lens where life is so large it makes other people dizzy.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Who could ever stop me?

I love these lyrics by Chris Tomlin. They demonstrate the power of Christ to do big things in little people. One friend put it this way: “You've done more in one year than most in a decade.” At 28 years of age with the gifts the Lord has given me, I have been able to live a blessed life….having travel adventures around the world, writing this recent book, getting a Masters degree at a National Champion level education, running a recent marathon, and then a half marathon, and so on.

Ever since Billy Hornsby died, I have really questioned my purpose and my legacy with what I would like to leave behind. I am going on out on a limb here maybe by saying this, but before the age of thirty-five, I would like to publish a Christian memoir that hits the shelves of major bookstores around the country. I would like to start my own nonprofit. I would also like to be a participating member in planting an ARC church somewhere in Tennessee. I want to marry a hot wife and have at least one child by then as well. I want to plant life and live with purpose as if it actually makes a difference. I had a wakeup call today selling shoes that you cannot just wait around hoping for God to deliver this huge dream into your lap by doing nothing. Now my life goals may change, but the important thing is that you realize I believe I can do these things with the right teams in place and with a God who loves me with His infinite Power and Wisdom.

With this first book I published – 23 poems and 23 photographs – I have two signings coming up. I would love to have you join me at one of them by supporting a little person trying to live big dreams.

Signings for my First Book

Gnu's Room Signing April 23 11:00 am - 1:30 pm in Auburn, AL

Little Professor Cafe Signing April 30 12:00-2:30 pm in Birmingham, AL

Are you intimidated by life? Or are you ready to live the life God meant for you to have? Bill Hornsby once said this in a sermon, “Take God seriously. Take faith graciously. Take life hysterically.”

Billy Hornsby….A Life I Hope to Emulate

I think often times we spend wasted energy, worry, and doubt consumed with the life of worldly ambitions. I believe we exist to live larger and to make God a proud Father when we die. While I did not know him personally, Billy Hornsby left a legacy behind that I hope to emulate. I do not wish to live so that I can fill my garage and storage closets with a bunch of junk. Yesterday I was really discouraged by not having a job. I search and search and search, and quite frankly I just get sick of trying for a goal that never seems to have an end. Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever just want to fall back in the Lazy-Boy seat, kick back, and give up on your inner desires and ambitions?

I think that in my situation Hornsby might quote a scripture like Philippians 3:12-14 if I had this self-pitiful conversation with him:

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Hornsby had a Kingdom mind-set. He didn’t just see the room around him. He saw Jesus’ hands pierced in everything he did. He served to plant churches, to save lives, and to impact thousands through his leadership and example to rock this country back and forth for an awakening that can no longer be ignored by our political leaders in both Montgomery and Washington D. C.

I spoke with a new acquaintance in the downtown Starbucks before I had a casual meeting with a reputable advertising manager and editor for a well-known publication in Birmingham. This individual lost everything in the last year and a half – cars, multiple places of residence, costly possessions, etc. He longed to return to a lifestyle in New York City with stuff to pile up in a penthouse apartment. I could just sense the loss as he clung to these things as if they defined him. I personally am satisfied with nice camera equipment, a good car, some clothes, and camping gear in addition to living in the same room I had in high school. That’s right. I live at home. But I love it because there is content in the foundation of being okay with Jesus, just Jesus.

While I was getting caught up in the emotions of not having a job, I got the email concerning Hornsby’s death. Suddenly my stomach inhaled a feeling of remorse for my dissatisfaction in self-analysis of “where I should be.” Hornsby understood the true measure of a man. He had true grit. He was everything I want to be and will spend my life reaching for higher and higher in the goals God sets for my life. When I reach for the stars, I may not reach Hayley’s Comet. But it will feel good when I fall into the precious clouds of God’s Mercy and Love. That is where Hornsby lies now. We seem to forget so easily what our life’s ambitions are in Christ. Publish books. Start nonprofits. Get good jobs. Marry a hot wife. Plant churches. But I will remember where those goals should come from as I achieve them as Hornsby did, from a Father in heaven who is awesomely powerful and loves me more than I could ever imagine or conceive. Today let’s give thanks for Billy. But let’s give thanks for our own lives so that we may smell the roses and be resurrected once more daily in His Perfection and not our meager inadequacies to do it all on our own. Pursue dreams. Live big. Love as you never have before. But do so in His name and His name alone in the celebration of life that we are given once and once only. “Let the glory of your name be the passion of the church….we believe you are all to us!” –Chris Tomlin, live from Passion 2011 in Atlanta, Georgia.

If you would like to know more about Bill Hornsby, this following press release was provided by Church of the Highlands:

Billy Hornsby, founder and President of the Association of Related Churches (ARC) and teaching pastor at Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, Alabama, went to be with the Lord on March 23, 2011, surrounded by family and friends. Billy, 61, had been battling cancer for over two years. He was known for his contagious love and passion for God, family, life, and leaders around the world.

Church of the Highlands will host a memorial service celebrating Pastor Billy’s life at the Grants Mill Campus on Monday, March 28 at 6:30 p.m. CDT. The family is requesting that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the Association of Related Churches (ARC), a non-profit ministry which trains, resources and supports church planters.

Billy was born on April 18, 1949 in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He married his childhood sweetheart Charlene in 1967. Their ministry together began in 1975 in West Monroe, Louisiana where they started their first church, Victory Fellowship. In 1984 they moved to Germany to serve as missionaries where they planted and supported churches all across Europe. Billy and Charlene moved back to the USA in 1989 and started two new churches in Kentucky. In 1991 they moved back to their hometown in Louisiana to serve as Associate Pastor at Bethany World Prayer Center. Under Pastor Larry Stockstill’s leadership, Billy launched hundreds of small groups at Bethany and trained thousands of other churches in cell church ministry.

In 2001 Billy and Charlene moved to Charleston, South Carolina to serve at Seacoast Church with Pastor Greg Surratt. During his time there, Billy and Greg began to dream about planting life-giving churches all across the country. In 2001, Billy and Greg, along with Dino Rizzo, Rick Bezet, Scott Hornsby, and Chris Hodges, founded the Association of Related Churches. ARC is now one of the largest church planting organizations in the country and trains thousands of church planters every year and gives millions of dollars annually to church planters. In 2008, Billy and Charlene moved to Birmingham, Alabama where the ARC is currently headquartered.

Billy also served as European Coordinator for EQUIP, a non-profit organization founded by John C. Maxwell which specializes in the development of international Christian leaders. Under Billy’s leadership, hundreds of thousands of new leaders have been trained in Europe over the past ten years.

Pastor Billy was also an author and well-known speaker. His books include “The Cell-Driven Church,” “Success for the Second in Command,” “101 Rules for Relationships,” and “The Attractional Church.”

Billy is survived by his wife of 43 years, Charlene; daughter Tammy Hodges and son-in-law Chris; daughter Trudy Bezet and son-in-law David; daughter Shary Long and son-in-law Phil; eight grandchildren: Natalie Gravois, Sarah, Michael, David, Jonathan, and Joseph Hodges, Wesley and Abby Long; brothers Frank Hornsby, Leon Hornsby, Scott Hornsby, and sister Suzanne Hobgood. Billy is preceded in death by two grandchildren, Will Long and Joy Long.